Dante Writes: Ranking Potential Daughter Names


So, I was thinking about a list of names to give to my daughter THAT DOES NOT EXIST, PLEASE NOTE. Maybe she’s swimming ’round in the old sack. I don’t know. Doesn’t sperm have a very short lifespan? Oh crap, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, ranking names for a potential daughter.

I ranked my nicknames before. You can listen to that if you’d like.

Right, so here is the pool of names:

  • Danielle
  • Ebony
  • Ivory
  • Dantea
  • Florence
  • Bella
  • Beatrice

Here we go:

6. Florence

Yeah, I mean, the author Dante was born in Florence. “Flo” would be a cool nickname. However, there is a town named Florence near me that, in the few times I have been around there…it’s been an unsettling experience. Our family has a low-key “forbidden place” approach to it. But, like I said, it would be an interesting name. Feels a little old school.

5. Bella

Well, back to the author. His mother’s name was Bella. Cute little name. If not for my daughter, for a pet cat. Cats have grown on me in the past couple of years since my days of going door to door. Used to be crazy about dogs. Ah well.

Okay, now it gets tough from here. 4th place is very close to 1st place, so don’t let the rank gap throw you off.

4. Ebony and Ivory

I needed a plan for potential twins. In the Devil May Cry video game series, Dante uses two hand guns. One named Ebony and one named Ivory. So, if I had twins, this would be an easy choice for me. Too easy. I know a set of twins who was named as twins. Like, one name means “first of twins” and the other is “second of twins”. But, nah.

3. Beatrice

If I don’t end up marrying someone with the name, she’s going to be my daughter…or cat. Look, I have this wild desire to have someone with this name in my life. I have standards so I’m not gonna pick some random woman but…I mean…I don’t know.

2. Dantea

I refuse to name someone Dante. Dante Jr SUCKS. There can only be ONE DANTE. ONNNNEEEEEE! At the same time, the feminine equivalent sounds really nice. Dantea is very uncommon, despite Dante being very common. It would be nice to name her after me, if I can find a feminine equivalent for my middle name. The fact that this is still a version of naming someone after me keeps it from being number 1.

1. Danielle

I’m a simple man. The previous names are all connected to Dante whether the author or the video game protagonist. But, for a long time…maybe longer than the others, I’ve liked this name. Danielle. I don’t know what it is, but I like it. The number one and two spots start with D’s and I love the idea of keeping up the naming game that I and my biological sisters have. We have the same initials for first, middle, and last name. It’s really cool.

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